If you haven’t been directly involved in a conversation that includes the swearing-off of the opposite sex due to lack of consideration, then you have at least overheard one. The problem with dating isn’t that too many friends and relatives are playing matchmaker or that the algorithms on dating sites are off. It’s the way you treat yourself.

You’re more compatible than you think. You’re just sending the wrong message about how you want be treated.

If the way you act shows the world that you don’t deserve to be treated right, then you never will be. Not just romantic ones, but all relationships are affected by a lack of self-confidence. Your employment, education, and every social interaction you have will be negative if you don’t have the physical appearance and attitude that says, “I deserve to be treated right!” While that doesn’t mean being an egotistical ass, it does mean that all areas of your life can benefit from healthy self-esteem.

So What Do Health Clubs and Exercise Have to do With It?

In an article for the Huffington Post, personal development trainer Sophia Nelson says, “…if you don’t take care of yourself, people pick up on it…”, and they’ll treat you accordingly. That means that staying healthy is important for more than avoiding illness and keeping weight off. Working out shows others that you care enough about yourself to do what is right for you.

Exercise is an instant confidence booster–and ongoing workouts provide long-term confidence.

More than that, though, are the numerous ways exercise improves your self-confidence. LIVESTRONG reports that making a commitment to exercise and following through with it gives you a sense of achievement. That feeling of success is completely tied to simply sticking to your workout plan and nothing else. If you’d like to lose weight and happen to do so as a result of consistent exercise, that counts toward bonus confidence.

That isn’t the only way working out can help guard you against the disrespecters in your life. Organic Authority lists several ways exercise builds serious confidence, including

• improving your posture
• increasing your productivity
• giving you some “me time” to look forward to
• supporting you in meeting challenges

And, of course, exercise releases those happy endorphins that chase away the blues to put you in a good mood. Working out makes you feel feisty, sassy, and sexy because it empowers you. You’re doing something healthy and positive to look better, instead of just complaining about how you look and feel. It cannot be stressed enough, either: even if you haven’t yet hit your target weight or are still struggling with what you perceive to be your problem area, your body image still gets a boost from working out.

The Magic of Confidence

Self-confidence is like a super-power. It makes magic happen.

You should get it now, how exercise can improve your self-confidence, and it isn’t even really about hitting that perfect weight or having Schwarzenegger’s washboard abs. All of that is cake. The confidence is what you’re going for, and Psychology Today has the scoop on the research that backs that up. In one study, researchers doused a group of men with body spray and took pictures of them along with a group they’d left un-perfumed. Then, they showed all of the photos to women and asked them to pick the most attractive men. Of course the women couldn’t smell who had on body spray and who didn’t, but the guys who had been sprayed felt more confident, and that showed in the pictures. You guessed it: the fragrant guys were the ones the women found most attractive even without catching a whiff of them.

Improving your confidence opens doors you thought were locked.

Don’t jump the gun and assume that the confidence factor only applies to men. The Date Report outlined another study in which an introverted, plain woman was covertly treated by a group of students as if she was the latest winner of America’s Next Top Model. The subject’s self-confidence shot up, and male students who weren’t in on the study began asking her out.

If you want to attract a better class of dates, it all boils down to two facts:

1. working out will improve your confidence
2. improved confidence attracts people who will treat you with R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Simple as that. And yet, there is one more way health clubs are better than dating sites. The possibility is high that you might meet someone there, and the odds are good that you’ll be compatible. You’ll already have two things in common: self-confidence and you both care about your health–and it’s great fun learning about all the other ways you’re well-matched. That’s not just a theory, either. I speak from experience. Nearly 30 years after meeting my match at the gym, and still going strong. 😉